In the Holographic Code System we call from where the point of origin of a behaviour or attitude. It isn't a metaphor: it's the concrete place, in time and space, where the scene you keep repeating today was recorded.
The premise is this: your life is a film that was edited in your mind roughly between ages 2 and 10, through everything you saw and heard. On reaching adulthood, that film begins projecting through your eyes onto the screen of your reality, over and over.
This exercise is a first approach to that film. It doesn't replace the full work of Stage 1, but it will give you a very clear sense of what we mean.
Before you start: one important rule
Only what you saw and heard. Not what was done to you.
When you watch a film, the projector doesn't appear inside the images: it only reflects what it holds inside. The same applies to you — you are the projector, and you should not appear in the scene.
If you place yourself in the first person ("they did this to me", "I suffered"), the exercise turns into complaint and stops working. Stay as the observer.
Observe the father figure
Recall your father or father figure before you turned 10. Not as he is today: as he was then. Write your answers:
What was his personality and his role at home?
What did an ordinary day look like for him? And a weekend?
How did he show love? What made him angry?
What did he complain about? Do you remember how he judged?
What was he afraid of?
Observe the mother figure
The same exercise with your mother or mother figure, also before you turned 10:
What was her personality and her behaviour at home?
What was her attitude towards your father or father figure?
Was she quiet or communicative? Did she tend to control?
What made her angry? What made her anxious?
What was she afraid of?
If you spent most of your childhood with grandparents, aunts, uncles or other figures, do it with them. What matters is who was there.
Find the resemblance
Now read what you wrote and look for where you resemble them. As a rule, women tend to act the way their mother did, and men the way their father did — or the figure they spent most time with.
Don't look for physical resemblance. Look for reactions: how you respond when something goes wrong, what you complain about, what you judge, what you fear.
This is how you begin to understand the behaviours you repeat.
Recognize the characters
Every person who surrounded your childhood took on a character within your film. And that character stays the same throughout your life — what changes is the actor playing it.
Make a two-column list. On the left, characters from your childhood: a best friend, an uncle, a teacher, a classmate, even a television character. On the right, who occupies that same place in your life today.
If you have a partner, observe carefully: it's common for them to take on the character of your father or mother.
Imagine the other person's film
This is the step that transforms the exercise. Choose someone who caused you pain and, instead of reviewing what they did to you, imagine what their childhood was like.
You don't need facts. It's enough to observe how they react today: each person acts mechanically, repeating scenes from their earliest years. Their behaviour is the evidence of their film.
When you manage to see that child whose circumstances were also not ideal, compassion appears. And the moment you feel compassion, you are feeling authentic forgiveness — which is not a favour you do for the other person, but your own release.
What to do with what you found
If the exercise moved something in you, that's a good sign: it means you touched real material. Three recommendations:
- Don't rush to conclusions. Let what you wrote rest for a few days and read it again.
- Sharing helps. This work gains a great deal when someone listens and reflects back what resonates with their own story.
- If something stirs too much, seek support. Some material is better opened with someone beside you rather than alone.
This exercise is educational and self-exploratory in nature. It does not constitute psychological diagnosis or treatment and does not replace care from a mental health professional. If you are going through a crisis, please seek professional support.
That was the first step
Stage 1 works through this process fully and experientially over two days, with guided dynamics, meditation and the Authentic Forgiveness work.
Explore Stage 1 Is this what I need?You can save this guide: use your browser's Print → Save as PDF option.